Before marriage: We'll share everything we have with each other.
After marriage: Don't add your favorite movies to my Netflix watch list!
Wife: Alexa, where is my husband?
Alexa: Khey Khaanda Hona Kite!
Wife: Suppose you hit the jackpot of 1 million in a lottery and the same day, someone kidnaps me and demands a ransom of 1 million. What will you do? Husband: I doubt if I can hit two jackpots in one day!
Tip for husbands: When your wife's suddenly silent, you should listen to her silence very carefully. It could save your life!
When your wife asks you why you're late, never say "Why don't you Google it?". I learned it the hard way, sleeping again on the couch tonight!
I texted my wife "No one like you". But autocorrect changed it to "No one likes you". This could be my last message!
The Meghan and Harry story teaches us that you can be the son of a Princess and the grandson of a Queen... but in the end, you have to do what your wife says!
1st year of marriage: Holding your wife's hands and looking into her eyes, it's called romance. 10th year of marriage: Holding your wife's hands and looking into her eyes, it's called self-defense!
Husband: You know, the female black widow spider kills the male spider after mating. I don't understand why. Wife: I'm pretty sure it's to stop the male from snoring before it starts!
My wife and I had a huge argument as to whose turn it was to do laundry. Eventually, I folded!