Pro-tip for husbands:
Never ever buy your wife an XXL sized dress. Always buy a size small, but hold on to the receipt so that she can change it later.
Act surprised when she says that the smaller size doesn't fit her will earn you some bonus points.
You can thank me later!
If the husband is head of the family then, what's the wife?
The wife is the neck of the family, which can turn the head anywhere!
The wife asks her wife, "Will you marry after I die?"
The husband responds, "No I will live peacefully"!
Last month, I told Alexa to keep a count of the number of times I won an argument with my wife.
As of now, my wife is leading 1,305,124 to 3
Witnessed a miracle today.
My wife said she was fine and she was actually fine!
The average wife spends seven years of her life in front of the mirror.
The average husband spends three years of his life asking her if she's finally ready!
My wife and I share a sense of humour.
We have to. She doesn't have one!
Wife: I hate you, hate you and really hate you.
Husband: What a co-incidence!
I want my wife to love me unconditionally. So I'm gonna change my name to Amazon!
During a heartfelt chat with her friend about relationships, my wife sighed and said, `You know, if something happened to my husband, I don't think I could ever marry again.`
Her friend nodded sympathetically. `I know what you mean,` she said. `Once is enough!`