Marriage is like going to a restaurant and order your choice from the menu, And then look at neighboring table n wish you'd ordered that!
Wives are like children... they're nice if they are someone else's!
Husband: I thought you were dieting?
Wife: I am.
Husband: You just ate 6 Oreos.
Wife: Yes, but I want to eat 12. See dieting!
Wife to husband: Happy New Year.
Husband: Promise?
My friends use to say, "There's plenty of fish in the sea".
But looks like I ignored their advice and ended up marrying a whale!
After years of threatening to leave, last night my wife finally broke my heart...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
She has decided to stay!
Don't bother getting married, just find a woman you don't like and give her a house!
A bad marriage is like a horrible job, you are happy to have one but always look out for other options!
There was an English language competition. 2000 persons participated...
The competition was to write in one sentence about peace, calm & happiness.
The Award winner wrote, "My wife is sleeping."
Judges hugged him with tears streaming down their cheeks when presenting the award!
Wife: Do I look fat?
Husband: Do I look stupid to answer that?
