My wife wanted a dog but I didn't, so we compromised and now we've a dog!
Trick Question:
Wife: Am I looking fat?
Husband: Yes
Wife: Shut up. Don't you ever dare talk to me!
A sound advice from the wife is equal to 99% sound and 1% advice!
I never get in trouble with my wife. Because I never do anything until she asks me to do it!
My wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with The Monkeys, I thought she was joking.
And then I saw her face...
It's funny when my wife gives me the silent treatment.
She actually thinks it's a punishment!
Marriage is a competition between two people that who can live longer. Whoever wins gets all of other person's money and stuff!
Wife: I think...
Husband: Exactly!
Wife: But I haven't said anything yet!
Husband: Doesn't matter. You're always right!
I never cried at weddings, except for the last one when the preacher asked me if I do!
Wife: Whose number is this. Who's she?
Husband: I don't know. Google must have put it there as they did for UIDAI!
