If you are a giver, remember to learn your limits - because the takers don't have any!
Before marriage:
Husband: I love your curves.
Wife: You naughty boy.
After marriage:
Husband: I love your curves.
Wife: Are you calling me fat?
My wife said I'd gotten fat since she married me.
I said "Yeah, you got 50% more of me. That's a great return on investment!"
Life doesn't just throw the things to you that you desire most. You have to earn them with every bit of your blood and sweat!
Doctor, filling medical report: You have a broken hand, severe concussion and bruised eyes. Are you married?
Me: Yes, but my wife didn't do it. I fell off the bike this time!
Marriage teaches you a lot of valuable things.
For example, today I've learned that the fancy towels in the wardrobe are only for guests and not to wipe my ugly face!
My wife just asked me if I was busy.
Now I may have to do things like taking the trash out or traveling to Mars and buy something!
My wife can't remember her credit card PIN but can clearly remember the exact picture of some girl I commented on Facebook 5 years ago.
Women are unbelievable!
Millions roaming around without a mask at the Kumbh Mela is called Devotion.
Thousands attempting political rallies amidst a pandemic is called Nationalism.
Sitting alone in my own car without a mask is a Crime!
Hard work pays off:
The government of India is planning to appoint Nirmala Sitharaman as Health Minister to bring down Corona cases just like the Economy!
