Fitness Status:
I watched a 120 minute documentary about the lifecycle of amoeba because the TV remote was out of reach!
Newly married friend: My husband is my best friend.
My wife: Just wait for a few months. He'll be your worst enemy!
Diet Day 1:
I have removed all the bad food from the house.
It was delicious!
I thought the Dryer made my clothes shrink.
Guess what? It was my Refrigerator!
Trump just got the full 2020 experience.
He caught COVID;
Lost his job;
And will be evicted from his house!
Me: Elections are nonsensical. You think you're choosing the best candidate, but eventually, you'll realize that they're terrible.
Wife: Just like my marriage!
A terrible week for the world's two most prominent Republicans...
Donald Trump
Arnab Goswami
I could be wrong, but I think the only way Trump is going to get to 270 is by losing about 50 pounds!
Going to the mall for shopping with your wife is like going to the casino for gambling, you lose track of the time and don't know how much money you have spent!
China is already welcoming Biden.
They have even named a central landmark in Beijing for Biden.
"FOR BIDEN CITY!"
#USElections
