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Upload to Facebook If there were a technology that could control our dreams, companies would use it to run ads during our sleep! -
Upload to Facebook Dentists always ask dumb questions like `When's the last time you flossed?`
Like bro, you were there. You did it! -
Upload to Facebook These days nobody respects age.
Unless it's distilled and bottled! -
Upload to Facebook I once entered the world kleptomaniac championships.
I took gold, silver, and bronze! -
Upload to Facebook I only know 25 letters of the alphabet.
I don't know y! -
Upload to Facebook I got tired of being judged for going bald so I went out and bought a cheap wig.
It was a small price toupee! -
Upload to Facebook Wimbledon tells us how the British want the world to think about them, and Football tells us how they actually are! -
Upload to Facebook The wife was checking her husband's phone and saw a contact named COVID-19, she called the number and her own phone rang.
And the husband is now isolated! -
Upload to Facebook A man was brought to court in connection with a street accident.
Lawyer: How did you cause the accident?
Man: Which accident?
Lawyer: The accident for which you are in court now.
Man: I had fallen asleep before the accident happened. If I had been awake I could tell you! -
Upload to Facebook I was in a taxi the other day and the driver said 'do you mind if I put some music on?'
I said, "Not at all." He said, "Kiss?"
I said, "Let's listen to the music first and see how we feel!"
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