Me: I live every day dangerously. Friend: Are you into adventure sports? Me: No, but I'm married and I live with my wife! |
Son: If we got another dog, where would it sleep? Mom: The question isn't where would the dog sleep. It's where would your dad sleep! |
Pro Tip for girls: Date ugly guys. because chances of cheating are very low. And vice versa! |
Without the laugh track, conversations in sitcoms have a lot of awkward pauses! |
"I would die for" and "I would kill for" are opposites despite being used to express the same thing! |
As a child, it seemed like parents had eyes on the back of their heads. As adults, it's clear that little kids are extremely predictable! |
Similarities between Corporate Meetings and Ladies Shopping Corporate Meetings: Show me the next slide. The figures are not looking good (in the graph chart). All eyes should be on us. Something is still missing. Do we have a plan B? Make it fast, we have to close it ASAP. Ladies Shopping: Bhaiya Wo Agli Wali Dikhao. Bhaiya Wo Pehli Wali Dikhao. Is Mein Meri Figure Achhi Nahi Lag Rahi. Sab Ka Dhyaan Meri Taraf Hi Hona Chahiye. Ummm... Kuch To Kami Lag Rahi Hai. Koi Dusri Dress Hai? Behen Ji Jaldi Karo Dukaan Band Karni Hai By: Rahul Pandey (Ruksi) |
Went for a job interview today, at IKEA. The manager said: Come in, make a seat! |
If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day... . . . . . . . Where will you take me? |
What do you call a sick eagle? Illegal! |