Upload to Facebook | Bartender: Sorry, gotta cut you off. Me: I'm not even drinking, I'm just eating nachos. Bartender: That's why. It's upsetting the other customers! |
Upload to Facebook | Why are robots never afraid? Because they have nerves of steel! |
Upload to Facebook | A Senior Lawyer sent his junior to a court giving him instructions. When the matter was called the junior asked the judge, "What is the time, My Lord?" The judge got irritated and pulled up the junior. The junior said that he acted as per his senior's instructions. "What did your senior instruct?" asked the judge. The junior said that he was asked to ask for the time when the matter is called! |
Upload to Facebook | "BHARAT BANDH" on 21st August 2019 (Tomorrow). All schools, colleges, offices and markets shall remain closed. Please inform all your friends, relatives, acquaintances & the Govt of India. . . . . . . Reason: Mera Mood Off Hai! |
Upload to Facebook | I lose track of how many times per day I want to turn and say, "you can't seriously be that stupid"! |
Upload to Facebook | Army Officer to Sarpanch: What the hell is going on? You said your village population is 500. We have rescued 1000 people from the flood by Helicopter so far, there are more to be rescued. How? Sarpanch: Sir, they keep swimming back here, again and again, for the free Helicopter ride. Even I have jumped twice! |
Upload to Facebook | Just realized that loudest word ever shouted is the word `quiet`! |
Upload to Facebook | If you're introvert and attractive, you're mysterious. But if you're introvert and ugly, you qualify as a weirdo! |
Upload to Facebook | I stress about stress before there's anything to stress about. Then I stress about stressing over stress that doesn't need to be stressed about. It's simply so stressful! |
Upload to Facebook | Sometimes you run into people who change your life for the better. Those people are called bartenders! |
