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Upload to Facebook Wife: I had a terrible day.
Me: Ok let's talk about it.
Wife: Please no, I don't want to make it more terrible! -
Upload to Facebook My wife and I decided to split our Christmas spending budget in a mutually beneficial manner.
She gets to spend 90% and I can spend the remaining 10%! -
Upload to Facebook Top three things husbands tell:
(3) I wasn't looking at that girl
(2) No, you're not looking fat
(1) I'm sorry -
Upload to Facebook Starve your ego.
Feed your soul. -
Upload to Facebook All these years of dealing with women made me understand that one should never piss off a woman when she's angry or peaceful or alive! -
Upload to Facebook According to WebMD, my wife is sick of me again! -
Upload to Facebook Honey, when I said I'd do anything for you, I meant things like fighting a war or taking a bullet and not cleaning the bathroom and doing the dishes! -
Upload to Facebook Wife: I tried to change my password to your name.
Husband: Wow that's wonderful.
Wife: But I got an error message that it contains a useless character. Technology is awesome! -
Upload to Facebook My wife's concentration is at its peak when she inspects the dishes I washed! -
Upload to Facebook Some people will only 'love you' as much as they can use you.
Their loyalty ends where the benefits stop!
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