But for law enforcement and physics, I'd be unstoppable!
If you can't follow the laws, you'll sure have to follow lawyers!
Overheard while sitting in a court, after a girl passed by.
Advocate 1: She has a Supreme Court figure.
Advocate 2: What do you mean?
Advocate 1: No Appeal!
A man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender, "Do you serve lawyers here?"
"Sure do," replied the bartender.
"Good," said the man. "Give me a beer, and I'll have a lawyer for my alligator!
Lawyer: Why do you want to divorce such a beautiful and lovely wife?
Husband: Look at my shoe, it is also beautiful but only the wearer knows how much it pinches!
What's the problem with lawyer jokes?
Lawyers don't think they're funny, and no one else thinks they're jokes!
"You've been convicted 5 times of this offence - aren't you ashamed to own to that?"
"No, your honour. I don't think one ought to be ashamed of his convictions!"
What is a contingent fee?
If the lawyer doesn't win your suit, he gets nothing;
And if the lawyer does win it, you get nothing!
A lawyer says that a dangerous year in married life is the first. Then follows the second, third, fourth, fifth and so on!
What's the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?
A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight!