Banta: My wife keeps on checking my messages to see if I'm flirting with any girls.
Santa: That's nothing bro. My wife saw a photo of me in kindergarten kissing a girl & she spent 6 months searching for that girl on FB, made friends with her & then asked her if she's in touch with me!
Doctor: Who did this to you?
Santa: Wife.
Doctor: Why?
Santa: She complained that I don't lift even a finger to help her with housework.
Doctor: Then?
Santa: It seems I lifted the wrong finger!
Santa visited a dentist named Simran. She asked, "Where are you feeling the pain?"
Santa: Jaw Simran Jaw!
Doctor: How many drinks do you have per week?
Santa: I don't know. I am an alcoholic, not an accountant!
On Jeeto's birthday, Santa asked her, "Can I get you a diamond necklace, for your birthday?"
Jeeto: Nothing would please me more.
So he got her Nothing. Santa will always be grateful to his English teacher!
At Vaccination Centre: Nurse: Sir Kaun Si Chalegi? Indian, Russian, American? Santa: Main Soch Raha Tha Pehle Vaccine Lagwa Leta Hun!
Santa: Hello, is this the helpline for alcoholics? Lady: Yes sir. How can I help you? Santa: Can you tell me how to make a Pina Colada?
Santa: I call my wife Fitbit.
Banta: Is it because she's health-conscious?
Santa: No, it's because whenever she sees me sitting idle, she tells me to move around and do something!
Santa: My boss says that an employee like me is hard to find.
Banta: Because you're good at your job?
Santa: No, it's because most of the time I'm in the toilet!
Santa: My wife said that I was wrong about something I told her but I knew I was right. But I kept quiet.
Banta: Why? You should have told her that she was wrong.
Santa: I may be right, but I'm definitely not stupid!