Santa: My wife drives like lightning.
Banta: She drives fast?
Santa: Na, she just hits the trees!
Waiter: I see your glass is empty, would you like another one?
Santa: Why would I want two empty?
Banta: That missing Malaysian flight is not yet found.
Santa: Had I been on board that flight, my wife would have easily found it in no time!
Santa: My wife is like a grill.
Banta: Wow, so hot?
Santa: Yes, but she also roasts me when hot!
Banta: I can't go home at night after partying with friends. My wife stays up & fights with me for being drunk.
Santa: Do what I do. Once I reach home, I just slam the door & shout `Honey, are you awake? I'm in the mood for some action`. She indifferently pretends to be asleep!
Colleague: Can you recommend something for constant headaches?
Santa: Have you tried marriage?
Pappu: Why is 1st April celebrated as Fools Day?
Santa: Because after paying all the taxes up to 31st March, we start working for the government again from 1st April!
Jeeto: You're a star. Santa: Wow, because I'm awesome? Jeeto: No, it's because I want you to be a million light-years away from me!
Police Officer: Do you realize how dangerously your car was swerving between the lanes? Santa: Sorry officer, but I'm terribly drunk. Police Officer: But that's not an excuse to let your wife drive!
Santa: After our marriage, my wife taught me the business. Banta: What business? Santa: To mind my own business!