Santa: My wife calls me iPhone.
Banta: Because you're classy?
Santa: No, because I simply lose energy without doing anything!
Banta: I wake up every morning depressed. Any idea what this condition is called?
Santa: Married!
Santa: My wife knows me so well that she finishes my sentences. Banta: Wow, so romantic. But how's it even possible? Santa: Super easy, she just says `Shut up`!
Banta: What is the difference between 'Paneer Masala' and 'Paneer Tikka Masala'? Santa: The latter one is vaccinated!
Banta: 14th February Ko Kya Hai? Santa: Tere Paas Biwi Hai Ya Girlfriend? Banta: Biwi. Santa: To Phir Sunday Hai!
Santa: My wife always tells me those three words. Banta: I love you? Santa: No, Stop Embarrassing Me!
Boss: I find it highly suspicious that you are only sick on weekdays. Santa: It must be my 'weekend' immune system!
Doctor: Who did this to you? Santa: Wife Doctor: Why? Santa: She complained that I don't lift even a finger to help her with housework. Doctor: Then? Santa: It seems I lifted the wrong finger!
At a Police Station: Santa: I want to talk to the thief who broke into my house last night. Police Officer: Why do you want to talk to him? Santa: I just want to know how he got into my house without waking up my wife. I've been trying it for years!
Santa: Hey, this is not fair. You only call when you need something from me.
Bank Employee: Mister, your loan installment is overdue!