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~ Jim LehrerMost of the gaffes I've made have not been funny - they've been stupid. -
![It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.]()
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~ Bill HicksIt's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious. -
~ Joe E. LewisThe way taxes are, you might as well marry for love. -
~ Les DawsonI used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own. -
~ Woody AllenIf my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job. -
~ Marcelene CoxIf at first you don't succeed, blame your parents. -
~ Jerry SeinfeldMen don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV. -
~ Anthony BurgessLaugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone. -
![I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.]()
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~ Rodney DangerfieldI found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. -
~ Mae WestBetween two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
