| A joke is a very serious thing. |
| A humorist is a person who feels bad, but who feels good about it. |
| If you want something that will last forever - take out a mortgage! |
| Laughter is an instant vacation. |
| Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. |
| Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. |
| Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly. |
| Be obscure clearly. |
| As I get older, I just prefer to knit. |
| As a child my family`s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. |