| Wine o'clock is my favourite time of the day! |
| You only live once? No, you live everyday. You only die once! |
| Friend: Look, shooting star, let's make a wish. Boy: I wish I had a girlfriend. Shooting Star goes back to the galaxy! |
| I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime! |
| 100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today, everyone has a car and only the rich have horses. Oh how the stables have turned! |
| I hope when I die, it's early in the morning so I don't have to go to work that day! |
| Aaj Ki Date 2-12 Zindagi Na Milegi 2-12 Maut Nahi Aati 2-12 Pyar Na Hoga 2-12 Aise Dost Na Milenge 2-12 Ye Time Na Aayega 2-12 Isliye Enjoy Karo Khul Kar Kyonki Zindagi Na Milegi 2-12. Sabhi Doston Ko Good Day 2-12! |
| I sold the memories of my love life to a publisher - they are going to make a joke book out of it! |
| "Siri, why am I single?" Siri activates front camera! |
| Things I and my laptop have in common: Slow Difficult to wake up from sleep Struggles to complete basic tasks |
