| I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already! |
| What's the worst part about going out to eat duck? The Bill! |
| Police arrested two kids yesterday. One was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other off! |
| Yeh Jo 4-5 Log Meri Har Post Par React Karte Hain Na... Mann Karta Ha, Poori Property Inke Naam Likh Dun! |
| All love stories end in tragedy. It's either a break-up or a marriage! |
| Friend: When my wife is quiet, I'm really scared. Me: Your wife becomes quiet? |
| What's the worst thing about having a job at the unemployment office? If you get fired, you still have to show up the next day! |
| I bought some shoes from a drug dealer today. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day! |
| My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought. It's an extremely rare dish order! |
| I wonder if I'll ever have to write Earth at the bottom of a postal address! |
