| I love modern technology. I can type a few letters on a screen and offend an idiot thousands of miles away! #SocialMedia |
| There are five types of alcoholics: 1) Who suffer from memory loss, after drinking. 2) ... sorry I forgot! |
| Let's normalize not asking people about their weekend plans because not everyone has a life! |
| Dear Men, Never mess with a woman's heart or newly set hair or lipper! |
| The Priest asked little Johnny: Aren't you scared to meet Satan? Johnny: You are the one who should be scared because you talk sh*t about him every Sunday! |
| Foreigner friend at an Indian wedding, What is this "Haldi" Ceremony? Indian: It's like getting marinated before the roast! |
| Indians are not responsible for plastic bags in the Ocean. All our plastic bags are either under our mattress or are in a plastic bag hanging in the kitchen! |
| The good thing about the internet is it gives everyone a voice. The bad thing about the internet is it gives everyone a voice! |
| I quit my job as a treadmill tester. I just felt like I wasn't going anywhere! |
| I taught my pet wolf how to meditate... Now he's aware wolf! |
