| Praising another woman in front of your wife is like smoking a cigarette at a petrol pump! |
| People who don't agree with something I say, it's Okay. You are entitled to your wrong opinion! |
| Mosquito is the most amazing singer in the world. Even if you hate its song, it makes you clap! |
| Math Problem of the day: If George is 73 and his girlfriend is 26, how much money does George have? |
| Two men walk into a bar. One man orders H2O. The other says, "I'll have H2O too." The second man dies! |
| Pro Tip: Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly! |
| What type of haircut does Steven Spielberg get? The director's cut! |
| I always take my problems to Tommy. Hilfiger something out! |
| My son asked me, "What does deja vu mean?" I said, "I have a feeling you asked me this before!" |
| One way to find out if you are old is to fall down in front of a lot of people. If they laugh, you are still young. If they panic and start running towards you, you are old! |
