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Difference between school and life: School teaches you lessons, and then gives you a test. Life gives you a test, and you learn the lessons!

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1998: Don't get in the car with strangers.
2008: Don't meet people from the internet alone.
2021: Share a car ride with random people!

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Being alone in the toilet is a reminder that you will always be alone when sh*t happens in your life.
Be strong!

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Babies don't know dreams aren't real, so they must think they have some crazy adventures with you every day!

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I don't think it's the age that makes us forgetful. I just think there's too much stupid crap to remember!

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If you cannot find your dog, open the fridge door. He is standing right behind you!

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If there are capital letters, why aren't there capital numbers? I want to be able to yell statistics at people!

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The person who discovered coffee is indirectly responsible for a lot of other discoveries and inventions!

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For procrastinators, "due date" and "do date" are synonymous!

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Teenagers are the most insecure people you'll meet until they're in a group of 3 or more in public in which case they become menaces to society!