I always tell my kids, no matter what, always do whatever their heart tells them to do.
But also check with their mother first to see if it's OK with her!
Salons always have hair on the floor.
Garages always have oil on the floor.
Banks, what is your problem?
What do you mean that a stress ball isn't for throwing at people who stress you out?
Police have arrested the world tongue twister champion...
They say he will be given a tough sentence!
Pain makes you stronger.
Tears make you braver.
Heartache makes you wiser.
And alcohol makes you forget any of that crap!
What did the Indian cricket fan say to the Pakistani cricket fan after the match?
You're a great sport... when you lose!
Girl: I wish you were more romantic.
Boy: I am, just in my own special way... like when I let you have the last slice of pizza!
My bed and I have a special relationship. We're perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up!
Doctor: What do you do when you feel stressed?
Boy: I go to the temple.
Doctor: Good! And do you do meditation there?
Boy: No, I just mix up all the shoes kept inside and watch people feeling more stressed than me!
Son: Dad, what happens when you die?
Dad: You go to heaven.
Son: No, I mean when YOU die. Will I get your stuff?