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I have decided I'm going to avoid everything that makes me fat:

Pictures
Mirrors
Scales!

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The only cardio I did this month was...
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running out of money!

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I like to have my cake and eat it too.
I'd also like to have your cake and eat it too!

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I have a condition that prevents me from going on a diet...
I get hungry pretty soon!

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My favourite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch.
It is called lunch!

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The human body is roughly 60% water...
So I'm not fat, I'm flooded!

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You want to lose weight and weight doesn't want to lose you.
Some relationships are so complicated!

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Why would I take up jogging or going to the gym when sitting is so much easier?

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I woke up at 5 AM, ran 8 Km, had a green smoothie...
and rest of the dream, I don't remember!

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Blood is thicker than water but maple syrup is thicker than blood...
So pancakes are more important than family!