Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
Workers who roll up their sleeves seldom lose their shirt.
Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others!
Watch too many reality shows and your life becomes fictitious.
Bore: Someone with a different hobby than hours.
Forty - The age when a woman stops patting herself on the back and begins under the chin.
Dentist - A person who finds work for his own teeth by taking out those of others!
When you bend the truth, don't try to torque your way out of it.
Unemployed teachers have no class.
Today's tip would have bought the meal 5 years ago.