If an object is lying 5 feet away, it's likely to become useless.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Shouldn`t Discovery Channel be on a different channel every day?
The farther the remote is more you, the more likely you like what's already on TV!
Advertisement in a Long Island shop:
Guitar, for sale........ Cheap...............no strings attached.
Routine of holidays:
Sleep till u r hungry;
Eat till u r sleepy.
High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead.
Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.