Laughter is the Goddess's hand on the shoulder of a troubled world.
Common sense is instinct. Enough of it is genius.
When a man gets up to speak, people listen, then look. When a woman gets up, people look; then, if they like what they see, they listen.
Know why divorce is so expensive? It's WORTH it!
Of course I can keep secrets. It's the people I tell them to that can't keep them.
Revenge is a dish best served cold.
Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.
Late night TV is very educational. It teaches that we should have gone to bed earlier.
If I had known I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself.
If you've been sacked from every job you ever had, at least no one can call you a quitter.