Love: a temporary insanity often curable by marriage.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
Abandon the search for truth; settle for a good fantasy.
When all else fails, lower your standards.
Why don't pigs turn into men when they get drunk?
Today is the first day of the rest of the mess.
Confession is good for the soul...but bad for your career.
You can't plow a field by turning it over in your mind.
Always see the bigger pitcher.