I was a man trapped in a woman's body. Then I was born.
A burp is just a fart that took the elevator!
Do gun manuals have a trouble-shooting section?
My wife used to have an hour- glass figure, but the sand shifted.
Excuse me miss, you've got a little bit of face on your makeup!
When life gives you bullshit, package it and sell manure.
A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
One is never too old to learn something stupid.
Just remember... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.