Toasters: Tanning beds for bread slices.
I hate spoons. They're pointless.
Forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, but not nearly as gratifying.
It is better to lose a lover than love a loser.
The wise speak when they have something to say, the fools speak when they have to say something.
Where there is no will, there's litigation.
Great minds think alike but dirty minds work together!
What goes around usually gets dizzy and falls over.
Good people are always remembered, and bad people a bit more.
The last time anyone told me I looked hot, I was in a Sauna.