Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
Well done is better than well said.
Online dating: the odds are good but the goods are odd.
The Opera is the only place where a guy gets stabbed and instead of bleeding, he sings.
When words fail, a boot to the ass may be sufficient.
A Tattoo is a permanent proof of temporary insanity.
One whos eats many prunes gets good run for money.
Wisconsin attorney accidentally sues himself.
To let a fool kiss you is stupid, to let a kiss fool you is worse.
Not many people realize just how well known I am.