Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with something bigger and heavier.
I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
I tried sniffing Coke once, and the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
You can't change a man... unless he's in diapers!
Today is the first day of the rest of the mess.
A miss in the car is worth two in the engine.
At 65, you begin to regret the sins you did not commit.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at Maths!
Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
Most rules of thumb suck.
