A fool and his money are soon partying.
I made a killing in the stock market. My broker lost all my money, so I killed him.
Borrow money from a pessimist, they don't expect it back.
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
The only thing I like about rich people is their money.
Everyone, except me, wants to become a millionaire. I want to become a billionaire.
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
Fight back! Fill out your tax forms in Roman numerals.
It isn't necessary to be rich and famous to be happy. It's only necessary to be rich.
