Some people are like blisters, they don't show up until the work is done.
Mondays are God's punishment for what we did on the weekend.
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
A lawyer is someone who writes an eighty-page document and calls it a brief!
I am so so broke that I can't even pay attention.
Acupuncture: a jab well done.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
After they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in?
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.