This blonde was bored with driving her old BMW. She fancied something a bit more individual, perhaps an MG convertible. So she visited her local car dealer and spied a beautiful Jaguar XK140 convertible. It was wonderfully restored and she fell in love with its gorgeous red paint work. An empty check stub later and off she was tearing down the leafy country lanes enjoying her beautiful new car. Her long blonde hair was flowing in the wind, music blaring from the radio, what could possibly go wrong?
At that thought there was a splutter from the engine and the car slowly coasted to a stop. She got out and lifted the bonnet and concluded after a few minutes that she didn't have a bloody clue what was wrong. Luckily she had her mobile phone with her and a quick phone call to the AutoClub and a short wait saw a bright shiny yellow van pull up behind her.
"That's a lovely car," said the mechanic. "What seems to be the matter?
Judi replied, "Well, it just conked out I'm afraid."
"Let me have look."
He set to work and ten minutes later the engine was purring like a cat again.
"Thank goodness," she said. "What was the matter?"
"Simple really, just crap in the carburetor," he replied.
Looking shocked she asked, "Oh. How many times a week do I have to do that?"
I saw a guy from work today Pull up with his missus in his brand new car, "What do you think?" He said. "She's a beauty, isn't she?"
"Certainly is," I said enviously.
"Have a go if you want." He said.
"I couldn't do that," I replied, "I wouldn't feel right."
"Go on," he smiled as he got out. "I insist."
"Okay," I said as I rubbed my hands together and climbed in.
Two minutes later I jumped from the car nursing my cheek and holding my balls...
Turns out he was talking about the car, not his missus.