| A man, about 80, goes to his doctor for a checkup because he is planning to get married. After congratulations and a clean bill of health, the doctor asks about his fiancee. The old man shows him a photo of a very beautiful, mid-twenties young lady. Thinking his patient might not be able to keep up with the physical stress of married life, he says, "I think you should consider getting a paying guest to keep your wife company while you have your regular naps." The patient agrees. Months later, the doctor bumps into the old man and asks, "How is married life?" The patient says, "Congratulate me, doctor. My wife is pregnant." The doctor congratulates him, and asks, "And did you take my advice about the paying guest?" "I certainly did, doctor. Thank you for that advice." "I see it worked out then," said the doctor, trying hard to hide his smile. "Oh yes, it did. She's pregnant too." |
| An elderly couple returned to a Mercedes dealership find the salesman had just sold the car they were interested in, to a beautiful woman. "I thought you said you would hold that car until we raised the 75K asking price," said the man. "Yet I just heard you close the deal for $65,000 to that lovely young lady over there. You insisted there could be no discounts on this model." "Well, what can I tell you? She had the ready cash and just look at her. How could I resist?" replied the grinning salesman. Just then the young woman approached the old folks and handed them the keys. "There you go," she said. "I told you I could get this joker to drop the price. See you later, grandpa." |
| Two doctors are in front of their clinic about to go in when they see a man hobbling down the street towards them. The first doctor says, "I bet that poor chap is suffering from a hernia." "No no", replies the other doctor, "Clearly he has a knee problem." When the hobbling man is about to pass them , one of the doctors says, "We have a bet, hernia or knee?" "You're both wrong, and I'm wrong" cried the hobbling man, "I thought it was a fart" |
| At a party attended by many celebrities, a gray-haired veteran walked up to the stage with a cane and took his seat. The host asked, "Do you still go to the doctor often?" The veteran replied, "Yes, often." Host asked, "Why?" Veteran said, "Because patients must go to the doctor often! Only then can the doctor survive!" The audience burst into warm applause, and people cheered for the veteran's optimism and witty language. The host then asked, "Do you often ask the pharmacist in the hospital about how to take the medicine?" Veteran said, "Yes, I often ask the pharmacist about how to take the medicine! Because the pharmacist also has to make money to survive!" Another round of applause from the audience followed. Host asked, "Do you take medicine often?" Veteran said, "No! I often throw away the medicine. Because I also want to survive!!" The audience laughed even more. The host finally said, "Thank you for accepting my interview!" The veteran replied, "You're welcome! I know, you have to survive too!!" The audience burst into laughter, applause, and cheers, which lasted for a long time!! Host asked another question, "Do you still chat in the group often?" The veteran replied, "Yes, I also want to survive in the group! If I don't show up and don't chat, everyone will think I'm dead, and the group admin will delete me!!" It is said that this joke was ranked first in the world because "Everyone Has to Live!!" Smile, dear friends, and show up often. Post you messages and responses to the messages of your near and dear ones! Communicate and stay connected! Let people know that you are still alive, happy, and healthy (both mentally and physically). |