Clean Jokes

An elderly couple who were childhood sweethearts had married & settled down in their old neighborhood. To celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary they walk down to their old school...

This morning I was having bread butter in breakfast. Wanted some green chutney for extra taste. But thought of Modiji`s advice and didn`t ask my wife for it. I got up myself, went to the kitchen...

John goes to the deli for some soup. After he`s seated and about to eat he calls the waiter over. When the waiter comes he says, "Taste this soup."
The waiter says, "Why what`s wrong with the soup...

Two Virginia rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune...

A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards."
The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid...

Issac Newton`s mother - "But did you wash the apple before eating it?"
Archimedes`s mother - "Didn`t you have any shame running naked in the street from? And, WHO is this girl Eureka...

My husband, Michael, and I were at a restaurant with his boss, a rather stern older man. When Michael began a tale, which I was sure he had told before, I gave him a kick under the table...

A policeman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However, the policeman kept feeling something pulling at his pubic hair...

Scientists at Rolls Royce built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners and military jets all travelling at maximum velocity. The idea was to simulate the frequent...

A nice girl brings home her fiance to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. He invites the fiance to his study for a chat...