Clean Jokes

This guy's father dies, so he goes to the undertaker and tells him he wants the best of everything for his father. The funeral is absolutely beautiful, and the guy is extremely pleased...

So the boss gets a hot new secretary, and almost immediately they start having an affair. However, within a few weeks, he is feeling displeased at the way she is performing...

I took an elevator up to the 69th floor for a meeting and as I was getting out, the operator said, "Have a good day, son."
I grumbled, "Don't call me son. You're not my dad."
He scratched his head...

A sophisticated, well-dressed woman walks into a shop that sells very expensive Persian rugs. She looks around, spots a beautiful rug, and walks over to inspect it...

Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will...

A man goes in for an interview for a job as a TV news broadcaster. The interview goes quite well, but he keeps winking and stammering. The interviewer says...

In corporate settings, 'ASAP' is frequently used to imply urgent, high-priority tasks. However, its true, often humorous, corporate meanings include...

After many years her phone call came around 11:30 PM... very sweet voice, "How are you?"
I replied, "I'm good!"
She said, "Not sleeping yet?"
I answered, "No, not yet...

My brother Darren, grew up with a terrible stutter. After highschool he was looking for a job when he spotted an ad for a door-to-door Bible salesman...

Paddy and Mick worked together in the garment district in Midtown New York and were both laid off, so they headed down to the New York State Department of Labor office. When asked his occupation, Paddy replied, "I'm a...