| The flight attendant sees a suspicious looking couple on board, so she reports it to the Captain immediately. "Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking! There is a very pretty, hot and attractive female passenger onboard, who looks quite frightened and the man she is with is a fat old slob who looks like a lecher, very sullen, mean and dangerous!" "The Captain responds, "Patricia, I've told you before... We have resigned from United Airlines and now This is Air Force One." |
| Pankaj fell in love, Pankaj married, Pankaj divorced, Pankaj Udaas. Sameera went to a parlor, Sameera did her hair, Sameera did her makeup, Sameera Reddy. Kangana hit the ball, Kangana ran for a single, Kangana did not reach the crease, Kangana Ranaut. Hrithik buys bulb, Hrithik puts bulb in socket, Hrithik switches bulb on, Hrithik Roshan. Neil arms weak, Neil joins gym, Neil does chin-ups, Neil Armstrong. Anil mombatti, Anil agarbatti, Anil dhoop, Anil Kapoor. Minisha purchased a cycle, Minisha started riding cycle, Minisha's height increased, Minisha Lamba. William making fruit shake, William took pears, William put them in glass, William Shakespeare Mika went to studio, Mika went to recording room, Mika took the mike, Mika Singh. |
| THIS IS HOW ENGLISH AND ENGLISHMEN MAKE FUN OF EACH OTHER ? Q: Can February March? A: No. But April May! Q: Did you hear about the painter who was hospitalised? A: Reports say it was due to too many Strokes! Q: Have you heard the Joke about the Butter? A: I better not tell you, it might spread! Q: How do you know that Carrots are good for your Eyesight? A: Have you ever seen a Rabbit wearing Glasses? Q: Music Teacher: What's your Favourite Musical Instrument? A: Kid: The Lunch Bell! Q: What did the Triangle say to the Circle? A: You're Pointless! Q: What do you call a Ghosts Mom and Dad? A: Transparents! Q: What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A: A Barbercue! Q: What do you call a person that Chops up Cereal? A: A Cereal Killer! Q: What do you call a South American Girl who is always in a hurry? A: Urgent Tina! Q: What do you call Two Fat People having a Chat? A: A Heavy Discussion! Q: What kind of Emotions do Noses Feel? A: Nostalgia! Q: What kind of shorts do Clouds Wear? A: Thunderwear! Q: What's easy to get into but hard to get out of? A: Trouble! Q: Where do Boats go to when they get sick? A: The Dock! Q: Who cleans the bottom of the Ocean? A: A Mer-Maid! Q: Why can't a Leopard hide? A: Because he's always Spotted! Q: Why can't your Nose be 12 inches long? A: Because then it would be a Foot! Q: Why did the Barber win the Race? A: Because he took a Short Cut! Q: Why did the Boy tiptoe past the Medicine Cabinet? A: He didn't want to wake the Sleeping Pills! Q: Why did the Tomato turn Red? A: It saw the Salad Dressing! Q: Why did the Tree go to the Dentist? A: To get a Root Canal! Q: Why don't you see Giraffes in Elementary School? A: Because they're all in High School! Q: Why was the Maths Book Sad ? A: Because it had too many Problems! |
| How does an attorney sleep? First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other side. I have a few jokes about unemployed people.... but none of them work. How do you make holy water? You take some water & boil the hell out of it. Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, "What's your favorite kind of music?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan." Heard about the new restaurant called Karma? There's no menu, you get what you deserve. I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday... but couldn't find any. What do you call a bee that can't quite make up its mind? A maybe. I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. I lost my case. If and when everything is coming your way..... you're in the wrong lane. She had a photographic memory... but never developed it. Is it ignorance or apathy that's destroying the world today? I don't know and don't really care. I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant..... but then I changed my mind. Which country's capital has the fastest-growing population? Ireland, of course, it's Dublin everyday. My ex-wife still misses me.... but her aim is starting to improve. The guy who invented the door knocker got a..... No-bell prize. I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought.... "that's the last thing I need !" Need an ark??? I Noah guy. I used to be indecisive..... Now I'm not so sure. Sleeping comes so naturally to me that...... I can do it with my eyes closed. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing. But, it let out a little whine. What do you call a very articulate dinosaur with a good vocabulary? A Thesaurus. Last, but not least, What happens when you boil a funny bone? You get a laughing stock. |