Supplementary Bill
This guy's father dies, so he goes to the undertaker and tells him he wants the best of everything for his father. The funeral is absolutely beautiful, and the guy is extremely pleased.
The next day, the guy gets a bill for $16,085, and he pays it. The next month, he gets another bill for $85. He figures it's just a little supplementary bill, so he pays that, too.
Next month, another bill for $85 arrives, so he calls up the undertaker and says, "I keep getting these bills for 85 dollars. I thought I paid for the funeral already."
The undertaker says, "Well, you said you wanted the best for your father, so I rented him a tux."
Affair With The Secretary
So the boss gets a hot new secretary, and almost immediately they start having an affair. However, within a few weeks, he is feeling displeased at the way she is performing...
Why Men Prefer To Watch Football In Pubs or Cafes
Wife: Where are you going?
Husband: Watch the game at the pub.
Wife: Why don't you watch it with me?
Husband: I want to watch it with my friends.
Wife: So I mean nothing to you?
Husband: OK, OK. I am staying...
The Wife Has It All Sorted
A husband and wife are sitting on the couch when the husband looks over and says, "Honey, if I died, would you get remarried?"
The wife thinks about it and says, "Well, we have a beautiful house, and I don't want to be alone, so...
Going Up, Letting Down
I took an elevator up to the 69th floor for a meeting and as I was getting out, the operator said, "Have a good day, son."
I grumbled, "Don't call me son. You're not my dad."
He scratched his head...
First Day With The Hook
A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."
"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine...
Expensive Persian Rugs
A sophisticated, well-dressed woman walks into a shop that sells very expensive Persian rugs. She looks around, spots a beautiful rug, and walks over to inspect it...
Humorous Life Insights
Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will...
Winking and Stammering Problem
A man goes in for an interview for a job as a TV news broadcaster. The interview goes quite well, but he keeps winking and stammering. The interviewer says...
The Pope and Donald Trump
The Pope and Donald Trump are standing on the balcony in the Vatican in front of a huge crowd. The Pope leans toward Trump and says, "Did you know that...
True Corporate Meanings of ASAP
In corporate settings, 'ASAP' is frequently used to imply urgent, high-priority tasks. However, its true, often humorous, corporate meanings include...