Why Men Prefer To Watch Football In Pubs or Cafes
Wife: Where are you going?
Husband: Watch the game at the pub.
Wife: Why don't you watch it with me?
Husband: I want to watch it with my friends.
Wife: So I mean nothing to you?
Husband: OK, OK. I am staying.
Wife: Why is the goalkeeper in black?
Husband: He is mourning his mother.
Wife: How the commentator does he know all the names?
Husband: It's his job.
Wife: There's a goal.
Husband: No, it's an offside.
Wife: What is offside?
Husband: No, it's a goal. Just kidding.
Wife: OK, but what is offside?
Husband: Offside is the name of the Coach.
Wife: Where's the Coach?
Husband: He is off the field.
Wife: Why isn't he playing?
Husband: No, he doesn't play. He changes the players and the game tactics.
Wife: Tell me, is Maradona there?
Husband: No, he died.
Wife: Oh my God, how?
Husband: He watched a game with his wife .
The Wife Has It All Sorted
A husband and wife are sitting on the couch when the husband looks over and says, "Honey, if I died, would you get remarried?"
The wife thinks about it and says, "Well, we have a beautiful house, and I don't want to be alone, so...
Going Up, Letting Down
I took an elevator up to the 69th floor for a meeting and as I was getting out, the operator said, "Have a good day, son."
I grumbled, "Don't call me son. You're not my dad."
He scratched his head...