Why Men Prefer To Watch Football In Pubs or Cafes
Wife: Where are you going?
Husband: Watch the game at the pub.
Wife: Why don't you watch it with me?
Husband: I want to watch it with my friends.
Wife: So I mean nothing to you?
Husband: OK, OK. I am staying.
Wife: Why is the goalkeeper in black?
Husband: He is mourning his mother.
Wife: How the commentator does he know all the names?
Husband: It's his job.
Wife: There's a goal.
Husband: No, it's an offside.
Wife: What is offside?
Husband: No, it's a goal. Just kidding.
Wife: OK, but what is offside?
Husband: Offside is the name of the Coach.
Wife: Where's the Coach?
Husband: He is off the field.
Wife: Why isn't he playing?
Husband: No, he doesn't play. He changes the players and the game tactics.
Wife: Tell me, is Maradona there?
Husband: No, he died.
Wife: Oh my God, how?
Husband: He watched a game with his wife .
The Wife Has It All Sorted
A husband and wife are sitting on the couch when the husband looks over and says, "Honey, if I died, would you get remarried?"
The wife thinks about it and says, "Well, we have a beautiful house, and I don't want to be alone, so...
Going Up, Letting Down
I took an elevator up to the 69th floor for a meeting and as I was getting out, the operator said, "Have a good day, son."
I grumbled, "Don't call me son. You're not my dad."
He scratched his head...
First Day With The Hook
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"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine...
Expensive Persian Rugs
A sophisticated, well-dressed woman walks into a shop that sells very expensive Persian rugs. She looks around, spots a beautiful rug, and walks over to inspect it...
Humorous Life Insights
Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will...
Winking and Stammering Problem
A man goes in for an interview for a job as a TV news broadcaster. The interview goes quite well, but he keeps winking and stammering. The interviewer says...
The Pope and Donald Trump
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True Corporate Meanings of ASAP
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A Million Dollar Golden Lighter
An Arab gentleman is sitting in a millionaire's restaurant in Dubai having lunch when a disheveled homeless man walks in and sits down next to him. The man says, old man? A million dollars? That lighter isn't even worth one dollar...
Unexpected Call From A Crush!
After many years her phone call came around 11:30 PM... very sweet voice, "How are you?"
I replied, "I'm good!"
She said, "Not sleeping yet?"
I answered, "No, not yet...