The Wife Has It All Sorted
A husband and wife are sitting on the couch when the husband looks over and says, "Honey, if I died, would you get remarried?"
The wife thinks about it and says, "Well, we have a beautiful house, and I don't want to be alone, so... yes, I probably would."
The husband looks a bit hurt. "Would you let him live in our house?"
"It’s a great house, and it's paid off, so yes, we'd live here."
"Would he sleep in our bed?"
"It’s a brand-new mattress, so yes, he probably would."
"Would he use my golf clubs?"
"Oh, absolutely not," the wife snaps. "He's left-handed."
Going Up, Letting Down
I took an elevator up to the 69th floor for a meeting and as I was getting out, the operator said, "Have a good day, son."
I grumbled, "Don't call me son. You're not my dad."
He scratched his head...
First Day With The Hook
A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."
"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine...
Expensive Persian Rugs
A sophisticated, well-dressed woman walks into a shop that sells very expensive Persian rugs. She looks around, spots a beautiful rug, and walks over to inspect it...