Clean Jokes

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks, in the sweetest little lisp, between two missing teeth, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"
As the shopkeeper`s heart melts...

A friend asked a gentleman how it is that he never married.
The gentleman replied, "Well, I guess I just never met the right woman... I guess I`ve been looking for the perfect girl...

A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately The rabbit jumps right in front of the car. The driver, a sensitive man...

A woman is enjoying a good game of bridge with her girlfriends one evening.
"Oh, no! I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husband! He`s going to really ticked if it`s not ready on time...

A motorcycle police officer stops a driver for shooting through a red light. The driver is a real jerk, steps out of his car and comes striding toward the officer, demanding to know why he is being harassed...

A man sits down on a bar stool and tells the bartender, "Pour me a drink before the trouble starts."
The bartender looks puzzled, but pours him a drink. The man chugs it and says, "Pour me another drink...

Morris had died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Morris` Last Will and Testament.
"To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 150 acres of land...

A Male mosquito to its wife: Darling I will hunt a Lion for you.
Female mosquito: Ok fine, now go to sleep.
Male mosquito: I will bite an elephant and bring his blood for you...

When you are bored just think about a few things that don`t make sense... like... Which letter is silent in the word "Scent," the S or the C?
Do twins ever realise that one of them is unplanned...

Alice was to bake a cake for the church ladies` group bake sale, but she forgot to do it until the last minute. She baked an angel food cake and when she took it from the oven, the center had dropped flat...