Clean Jokes

Three men: a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree. Before anyone knew, the three men found themselves standing before the pearly gates...

SOBBING UNCONTROLLABLY, a woman called her husband`s lifelong golfing buddy. "What`s the matter ?" asked the friend.
"It`s Sam," she said. "I don`t know where I went wrong...

When old Mr. O`Leary died, an elaborate wake was planned. In preparation, Mrs. O`Leary called the undertaker aside for a private little talk. "Please be sure to fasten his toupee to his head very securely...

A boy was cycling with a basket of eggs on it. He hit a stone and fell down along with the cycle. The eggs also fell down and broke. A crowd gathered around the boy. As usual free advice started flowing from...

1) While seasoning, if you put few drops of whisky, the oil doesn`t burn.
2) While kneading dough, put a few drops of beer and the chapatis will be golden brown...

Wife sent a message to her husband: Don`t forget to buy vegetables on your way back from office, and Savita says hi to you.
Husband: Who is Savita ?
Wife: Nothing, I was just making...

A large, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good lumberjack. The very next day, a skinny little man showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked...

On a busy Med/Surg floor the doctor stops the nurse to brief her on a patient`s condition, "This patient is a fellow physician and my favorite golf partner. His injury is serious and I fear he will not be able to...

A visitor from Buffalo was strolling along the California surf one morning. During his walk he came upon a local, fishing pole clutched in his hands, sound asleep against the side of a huge coastal rock. Just then...

Friends, one an Optimist and the other a Pessimist could never quite agree on any topic of discussion. One day the Optimist decided he had found a good way to pull his Pessimistic friend out of his way of continual...