Clean Jokes

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I`ll turn into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket...

A four year old little boy was at the doctor`s office with his mother in the waiting room when he spotted a pregnant lady on the other side of the room. Having nothing better to do, he walk over to her and...

A well-traveled man walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "For $50, you can mix any cocktail you want without my knowledge and I can tell you the ingredients!"
The bartender takes up the challenge...

A man goes into a bar very thirsty. He sits down waiting for the bartender to see him.
The man next to him calls...

A man in the pub orders a beer. He gets it and begins to drink it and notices the beer is kind of warm. So he mentions something to the bartender, who tells him to shut up and just drink his beer...

Life just gets better as you get older doesn`t it.
I was in a Starbucks Coffee recently when my stomach started rumbling and I realized that I desperately...

The Pope and Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd. The Pope leaned towards Mr. Trump and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy...

A class had been studying destruction of the rain forest and was talking about ways they could help protect the planet. One boy was particularly proud of his contribution. He announced, "I got at least...

Proverb: Actions speak louder than words.
Counter Proverb: The pen is mightier than the sword.
Proverb: Look before you leap.
Counter Proverb: He who...

This is a story about a couple that had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband`s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and...