Dying wish
Two Irishmen, Murphy and Brian grew up in the same village together. They were friends all their lives, married a pair of sisters, and lived just down the street from one another. But now, Murphy had cancer, and was lying on his deathbed, surrounded by his friends.
He calls, 'Brian, come here Brian. I have a request for you.'
Brian walks to his friends bedside and...
Not finished yet !
A drunk walks into a crowded bar and takes the last barstool next to an older woman. After awhile, the woman starts to smell this horrible odor coming from the direction of the drunk.
She turns to him and says, 'Excuse me Mister, but did you just...
Quit drinking !
A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. 'What are these matches and lighter fluid doing in your car?', asks the cop.
'I`m a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act.'
'Oh yeah?' says the doubtful cop. 'Lets...
Man in a Bar !!!
A man goes into a bar and tells the bartender to give him a double. Then he slams it down and takes a picture out of his pocket, looks at it for a moment, then...
Exchanging notes!
A guy walks in a bar, and buys a huge beer. Then he sees someone he knows, and decides to go and say hi to them, but he does not want to drag his beer mug with him.
So he sets it on a table, along...
How old?
A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, 'I want you to give me 12-year scotch, and don`t try to fool me because I can tell the difference.'
The bartender is skeptical and decides to try to trick the man with 5-year scotch. The man takes a sip, scowls and says, 'Bartender, this crap is 5-year scotch. I told you...
The ghost?
There was this party in the woods and all of a sudden there was a down pour of thunder and rain, these two young guys ran for about 10 minutes in the pouring rain, finally reaching their car just as the rain let up. They jumped in the car, started it up and headed...
A real hurry!
A guy rushes into a bar, orders four expensive thirty-year- old single malts and has the bartender line them up in front of him.
Then, without pausing, he downs...
Stockinvest!
If you bought $1000 worth of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $72.
If you bought $1000 worth of Budweiser (the beer, not the stock) one year ago, drank all...
Double trouble!
It was a fine summer evening at the local pub in Dublin. The bar was about half full. In one corner two fellows sat drinking pints. One fellow asks the other 'Now where are ya from, me lad?'
The second fellow...