Clean Jokes

A drunken man staggers in to a Catholic church and sits down in a confession box and says nothing. The bewildered priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing. The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak.

Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other, 'What a beautiful night, look at the moon.'

The preacher was having a heart-to-heart talk with a backslider of hisflock, whose drinking of moonshine invariably led to quarreling with hisneighbors, and occasional shotgun blasts at...

An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending too much time at the pub, so one night he took her long. 'What`ll ya have?' he askedOh, I...

A man in the pub orders a beer. He gets it and begins to drink it and notices the beer is kind of warm. So he mentions something to the bartender, who tells him to shut up and just drink his beer. Then it it`s time to pay and instead of giving three $1 dollar bills to the bartender, the guy throws...

A drunken man staggers in to a Catholic church and wanders over to the confessional box. He opens the door, sits down and says nothing. The bewildered priest waits for a few minutes...

A father was trying to teach his young son the evils of alcohol. He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whiskey. The worm in the water lived, while the one in whiskey...

A drunk was hauled into court. 'Mister,' the judge began, 'You ve been brought here for drinking.'
'Great,' the drunk..

At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunken guy asking what time the bar opens. 'It opens at noon,' answers the clerk. About an hour later he gets a call from the same...

Nawab sahab has been at a pub all night drinking. The bartender finally says that the bar is closed. So he stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He figures he`ll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside he stands up and...