Clean Jokes

One day, the phone rang, and Little Johnny answered.
The Caller: May I speak to your parents?
Little Johnny: They're busy.
The Caller: Oh. Is anybody else there...

Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day.
"My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy...

Granddaughter is sitting on Grandpa's lap as he reads the paper not paying any attention to her. So she starts studying the wrinkles on his old face. She gets up the nerve and rubs...

Kathryn's 5-year-old developed a strong interest in spelling once she learned to spell STOP. After that, she tried to figure out her own words. From the back seat of the car...

After a family meal one night, three generations of the family are sitting around chatting. Jenny, a four year old, is sitting on her grandfather's knee...

One day a guy was driving with his 4-year-old son and beeped his car horn by mistake.
He turned and looked at him for an explanation.
He said, "I did that by...

Little Johnny runs down the stairs in tears. His mother asked, "What's the matter now?"
"Dad was hanging pictures, and just hit his thumb with hammer," said little Johnny...

Working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children. One day I entered the examining room to give four-year-old Lizzie her needle...

Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board, of the 10 most wanted criminals.

One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.

"Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture him."

Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"

Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school.
Two days later his teacher phoned his mother totell her that he was misbehaving...