Clean Jokes

One day Johnnie goes up to his mother and asks:'Mom, how old are you?'
Mom: 'That`s a personal question. You don`t ask those kinds of personal questions to women.'
'How much do you weigh?'
'Why did Dad leave us?'
Mom: 'I`ll tell you when...

One Saturday morning, a teacher came up with a novel way to motivate her class. She told them that she would read a quote and the first student to correctly identify who said it would receive the rest of the day off.
She started with, 'To err is nature, to rectify error is glory.'
Little Suzy instantly jumped up and said...

A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, 'Johnny what is your problem?'
Johnny answered, 'I`m too smart for the first grade. My sister is in the third grade and I`m smarter than she is! I think...

Mrs. Jones sent her daughter Silvia to buy some groceries at the market. On the way, she met some boys who asked her to climb up a tree and get them some fruit, which she did. She bought the groceries and...

Shalu, A second grader came home from school and said her mother, “Mom, guess what! We learned how to make babies today”
The mother, more than a little surprised...

A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together. After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed the boy in the chair.
'I`m goin` to...

Little Johnny at the swimming pool. Little Johnny is approached by the lifeguard at the public swimming pool.
'You`re not allowed to pee in the pool,' said the lifeguard. 'I`m...

One day Johnny was sitting in class and had to go to the bathroom so he raised his hand to ask the teachers permission. The teacher told Johnny if he could say the alphabet he could go to the bathroom. Johnny stumbled through it and got it all wrong and had to hold it. So Johnny...

A mother complained to her doctor about her daughters strange eating habits.
'All day long she lies in bed and eats yeast and car...