Clean Jokes

I think beer must be good. My dad says the more beer he drinks the prettier my Mom gets." -Tim, 7 years old
"Beer makes my dad sleepy and we get to watch what we want on television when he is asleep, so...

A preacher was making a wooden trellis to support a climbing vine. As he was pounding away, he noticed that a little boy was watching him. The youngster did not say a word, so the preacher kept working. He was sure...

A little boy asks his dad "Where does poo come from?" His father is taken aback by the question but decides to give his son the facts straight up. "Well son," he says, "food passes down the...

Dear Parent, We are delighted to inform you that your child displays remarkable initiative. Not for him the simple-minded obedience to teachers. We refer to his admirable refusal to do homework. We have humbly...

The following are actual submissions on a series of quizzes, tests, and essays.
"Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state...

After tucking their three-year-old child Sammy in for bed one night, his parents heard sobbing coming from his room. Rushing back in, they found him crying hysterically. He managed to tell them that...

When Donna found out she was pregnant, she told the good news to anyone who would listen. But her 4-year-old son overheard some of his parents` private conversations....

I was testing the children in my Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven. I asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church...

A little boy was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom. So he raised his hand politely to ask...

Pauly`s family is at dinner, the 10-year-old daughter isn`t eating much, and she just keeps her head down. After a few minutes, she says, "I have something to tell you." Everyone gets silent...