Clean Jokes



Lantern!

In a terrible accident at a railroad crossing, a train smashed into a car and pushed it nearly four hundred yards down the track. Though no one was killed, the driver took the train company to court.
At the trial, the engineer insisted...

10 Commandments Of E-Mail

Thou shalt include a clear and specific subject line.
Thou shalt edit any quoted text down to the minimum thou needs.

Software ADs on Doordarshan!

'The man , The Machine, The Software - PeopleSoft VII'
Boy - 'I am a PB boy'
Girl - 'I am a PB gal'
'Badte bacho ke liye complete software - Powerbuilder'

Tech Support!!

Why we should feel sorry for tech support people:
A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.The tech asked her if she was 'running it under Windows.'
The woman then responded, 'No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his isworking fine.'

Computer communication lingo! !

What does a baby computer call his father?
What is a computer`s first sign of old age?
Why was there a bug in the computer?

Steam engine !

This story is set during the early part of this century, when steam trains were still commonplace.
Two men were going to go on a journey by rail. They`d never been on a train before, and were rather nervous. They decided to take some oranges...

IT Conversation :

Husband: (Returning late from work) 'Good Evening Dear, I`m now logged in.'
Wife???: Have you brought the grocery?
Husband: Bad command or filename.
Wife???: But I told you in...

Computer lingo meaning for a farmer!

LOG ON: Making the wood stove hotter
LOG OFF: Don`t add wood
MONITOR : Keep an eye on the wood stove
MEGAHERTZ: When a big log drops on your barefoot in the morning
FLOPPY DISK : What you get from piling...

What computer acronyms really stand for:

ISDN - It Still Does Nothing
APPLE - Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
WWW - World Wide Wait
DOS - Defunct Operating...

NASA`a Chickens:

Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents...