Clean Jokes

Two old men were arguing the merits of their doctors.The first one said, 'I don`t trust your fancy doctor. He treated old Jake for a kidney ailment for nearly a year, and then Jake died of a...

Doctor: 'It`s no good. I can`t find anything wrong with you. It must just be the effects of...

'Doctor, please hurry. My son swallowed a razor-blade.'
'Don`t panic, I`m coming immediately. Have you done...

Grandma Jones from the valley had never experienced a sick day in her life, so she didn`t take it kindly when a bad case of the mulligrubs sent her to the hospital for observation.

Old Dr. Carver still made house calls. One afternoon he was called to the Tuttle house. Mrs. Tuttle was in terrible pain. The doctor came out of the bedroom a minute after he`d gone in and asked Mr. Tuttle, 'Do you have a...

The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items. I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car, his bony arm across the back of my seat.I hadn`t considered the drive across town. At one traffic light...

Old man Murray goes to the doctor with a very worried look on his face. 'Doctor,' he says, 'You`ve got to help me. Do you remember those voices in my head I always...

A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache. Since his operation had been an intestinal one, there was no earthly reason why he should be complaining of a headache. Finally his nurse...

Shakey went to a psychiatrist. 'Doc,' he said, 'I ve got a trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there`s somebody under it. I get under the bed; I think there`s somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under, you got to help...

'That is great! And what was the name of the clinic?'
Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but could not remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, 'What do you call that flower with the long stem and...